When is a father not a father?
Even a sperm donor has to pay Child Maintenance!!! Notice the word 'Most'.
The Government's Ruling!!! Visit the Gov website for information.
What is parental responsibility?
All mothers and most fathers have legal rights and responsibilities as a parent - known as ‘parental responsibility’.
If you have parental responsibility, your most important roles are to:
- Provide a home for the child
- Protect and maintain the child
If you have parental responsibility for a child you don’t live with, you don’t necessarily have a right to contact with them - but the other parent still needs to keep you updated about their well-being and progress.
You’re also responsible for:
- Disciplining the child
- Choosing and providing for the child’s education
- Agreeing to the child’s medical treatment
- Naming the child and agreeing to any change of name
- Looking after the child’s property
Parents have to ensure that their child is supported financially, whether they have parental responsibility or not.
Now, do you feel helped? Or treated fairly?
Jon T: "I pay £500 a month... I see my kids I buy them stuff and yet this seems over the top. I lost my home which was a 4 bed house. Ex said she needed the house yet once I moved out and we were divorced she moved in with Her Boyfriend the one she left me for and cheated on me. Now she rents out my 4 bed ******* joke. The Divorce laws in this Country favour women."
Neil W: "Yeah it's absolutely outrageous. I know many similar stories including my own."
Jon T: "I feel your pain."
Jonathan O: "We all feel your pain, we are all in the same boat our only hope is that like me you meet a fantastic lady who your kids adore and who will make you happy again."
Colin M: "It is the same here too, ex had it all arranged and now she is trying to cut down the time I see my boys, what can we do to change this????"
Wayne E: "I think it's time the government clamped down on scheming money grabbing cows that deny access. I'm all for paying for your child but if you're not allowed to see them then I think they should only receive a minimum payment of £40 per week and the child would only benefit from extra earnings if it sees you because you'd spend you're time and money with your child, but it won't change because it's women's world and they are so good at playing the victim and the law and society believe the manipulative scheming devious women that give the few good women a bad name!"
Michelle J: "Not all women are after money! I stopped contact and have been through court for this and the court agreed (abusive not because I'm a a*** ) anyhow I have signed for csa/cms to not chase for money owed (nearly 4 years !) Plus to stop chasing for future payment. I do not want or need his £10 fortnightly and my son certainly doesn't. I have stated if my ex contacts them to pay then to contact me and I will set up an account for that solely. I agree payment and contact doesn't go hand in hand and payment doesn't mean rights to access. Every case is individual even if there are a lot of similarities the issues surrounding payment and access isn't going to go away but maybe there should be other options in place instead of a or b. Don't forget if you have overnight access csa will take that off your payment plan. You can also inform them if you're off on sick as they will reduce payments accordingly. If you do not pay UK tax then csa can not take payments off you."
Matt R: "We've all got a story, and there's a common theme. My ex partner contacted the CMS after I stopped the direct pay arrangement we had. They told me how much I should be paying. I informed them (the CMS) about the inadequate care provided by their mum and how they had no right to put a price on my children's heads. I told them not to write to me concerning this and if they did a reply would cost them £150. They didn't listen, so I billed them. I will be taking this to court. I'm fed up of the warmongering, political patheticness practiced by the parties."
Wayne E: "I pay £665.02 per month no access either and she has manipulated my daughter against me to boot too."
Jon T: "I know how you feel. ... I do see my kids but NO WAY DID MY KIDS EVER EVER COST ME £500 a month."
Wayne E: "It's a killer more so not seeing my daughter as I love her to bits and always made time for her even when I was dog tired and should've been sleeping after doing long shifts gritting all hours etc, took her out instead of sleeping."
Jonathan O: "I do feel for you mate . It's all so unfair I'm so lucky I get to see my youngest daughters every week end and the oldest one live with me . I really hope you can get to see your daughter and you can put your side forward to her."
Wayne E: "Thankyou. I hope I can get to see her, been to court spent over £11,000 solicitors and barristers were useless and didn't have the passion to help me only keep taking my money worked my ass off earning money to pay extortionate legal fees for nothing, only to get battered by csa to pay her even more money for the privilege of her stopping me from seeing my child and having to go to court and all I attained was parental responsibility that's not worth a carrot. I'm glad you get to see your daughters and one lives with you, it gives me hope that one day I'll see my little girl again."
David P: "I paid 600 quid a month for a son that I haven't seen for 20 years. I only stopped paying when he was 19. I spent 2 years and 8 thousand pounds in court and when I won she just moved to the north of Scotland and left no forward details. How is this acceptable?"
Mark S: "I pay £350 a month and despite 5 court orders giving me contact have not seen them in 2 years. My solicitor said you have one big thing against you I'm afraid, you're a man and the Laws here will always favour the woman. That's how it is, I'm sorry to have to tell you that, but its fact."
Neil W: "Your solicitor is semi correct in that the Courts are not really interested in men and have 'toothless' ageing judges. However, I had my ex in Court 6 times. Each time she denied access I took her back to Court. In the end I went for an Enforcement Order and it made my ex jump! As soon as she got the letter saying I was going to go down that route she gave me access. I also threatened Contempt of Court which is custodial. Had no problems with contact since. Go for it. Remind her of the consequences of not complying with the Court Order. Enforcement includes fines, unpaid Community Service, and ultimately prison. It's all on the Warning on Court Orders. Worth a punt."
Mark S: "Thank you. The only thing is that the court order was my court order, if I did not return them by the right time, I was the one that could be punished, as she had 'custody' of them (I did not have legal counsel at the time and said it was OK for them to live with her- biggest mistake ever) I basically lost my rights, the court order only applied to me and not her."
Andrew P: "I'm still paying £50 a week for an hour a week access."
Ben Laidlaw: "Dogs are treated better."
Jason B: "I pay 40 a week and get no access."
Richard H: "Today, we made an application for a mortgage on our council property, we have the "right to buy", it is a fantastic opportunity for us with a great discount on the value of the property. We had done the "sums" and believe, although tight, we can afford the repayments.We have been refused due to some "small hurdles" we could have resolved, but unfortunately one very big hurdle we can't really see a way around. The maintenance I regularly pay my X wife for our kids is seen as "money owed" and has lost us £50,000 on the application, I really think this Sucks!!! It's a real sign of the times for split/divorced men and the struggles they encounter!! I'm not angry or even particularly upset, I'm just disappointed that my "situation" still affects my new relationship/life so negatively."