Spousal Abuse

Is Spousal Abuse by Women a Reality? Is this Situation Ignored by our Legal System?

Here are representative letters that have been sent to me over the last few months indicating the level of abuse, and indicating the non-reaction of those who should support male abused victims.

 

Private individuals should not have to develop campaigns and seek corroborative evidence when there are professionals that should protect men from spousal abuse.

 

The website below covers Northern Ireland but can be extended across the rest of the UK.

 

http://equality4men.com/2013/11/04/domestic-violence-against-men-hits-record-high/

Sad, Abused Man Covering his Face

As a result of reading this article, plus many other articles, and investigating some of the statistics involved, it is clear that there needs to be protection for men as well as women.

 

I have advised 2 Local MPs that I am willing to head up an investigation into the issue of suicides to try to establish a co-relation between suicides in men as a result of divorce type issues and the stresses that are placed upon men and ignored by our legal system. The level of suicide amongst men is far too high at over 4700 per annum, and I feel deeply about the impact that divorce, child separation and Parental Alienation has on this high figure.

 

I have offered my services for two days a week for 6 months, free of any costs for me. If I found that there was too much information flying through, then I may need an assistant, that would be paid for by the NHS and the Ministry of Justice. Unfortunately, this offer, and the same one made to our Prime Minister, have yet to be responded to.

 

Here are some frightening statistics

 

You have to ask yourself, are blameless men and innocent children being given a fair and equal representation and protection in society and our legal system?

 

And ask yourself the question, why are only women listened to?

 

  1. In the UK around 4,000,000  children are living without their Dads. [Fathers4Justice; Office for National Statistics]

  2. 50% of all Court Orders for contact are broken and not enforced. [The Times, 2003]

  3. 200 children lose contact with their fathers every day in secret family courts. [Fathers4Justice]

  4. 1 in 3 children live without their father. [Office for National Statistics]

 

Many women will tell deliberate lies and even self-harm to have control of the children to spite a father, because they are aggrieved with their former partners. It also makes good financial sense for them to plead abuse even if none existed. But a child will suffer because some women are so mentally twisted and self serving that they are not concerned with the child's best interests.

 

Does the State Care?     

 

No!  Because if it did, the statistics would not be as they are.

 

Witness statements should be given due credence and the outcome of Child Court Decisions should be policed in a fair, intelligent and equal way. There are too many miscarriages of justice because the woman's word is taken at face value, backed up by 'Experts' who do not carry out detailed and substantiated reports. Yet as Independent ‘Experts’ they make large amounts of money, so they have an interest in maintaining the Status Quo.

 

Some 'Experts' even have their own biases, and innocent children are left with female mental abusers that no one bothers to police. Mental and controlling behaviour abuse against children is as prevalent and as dangerous as physical abuse, but because you cannot see it, it gets ignored until a child becomes a statistic in the future.

 

One child's ruined life is one too many, and all you will get from Social Services are inadequate investigations, or ignored by biased individuals with the usual excuses that 'Lessons have been learnt', or we are under-resourced. If you ran a business with those excuses you would be closed down.

 

I cannot understand why so many in the Justice system can sleep when children are condemned to a life controlled by manipulative women, who abuse that very legal system for their own gain.

 

The needs of children are being abused where Parental Alienation Syndrome is practiced by many ex wives and partners because the courts have made them as the resident parent.

 

You only have to look at all the recent high profile cases where the 'Loving Mother' has been wrongly chosen as the Resident Parent, again backed up by the 'Experts' who frequently quote out- dated Attachment Theories such as Bowlby, when Schaffer and Rutter offer that fathers can equally be a ‘resident parent’, and that children, both boys and girls, need fathers to help their development.

 

This leads me to other statistics, these are in the USA, but the UK follows closely the lifestyles of that country. [avoiceformen.com]

 

  1. 90% of homeless children are from fatherless homes.

  2. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.

  3. 80% of suicides are from men.

  4. 85% of all children that exhibit behavioural disorders come from fatherless homes.

  5. 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes.

  6. 90% of the homeless are men.

  7. 90% of divorce applications are from women.

  8. Primary care is only given to 10% of men in Court Rulings.

 

If women really cared then the above statistics would be lower. 

 

Remember that 80% of suicides are men and 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes, and where are the 'Experts' and the Legal system when these facts are advised to them?

 

Men, as resident parents, can equally, with their extended families and friends, look after children, and would only have to re-adjust to this new requirement, but it is not beyond the realms of ability and possibility.

 

It is acknowledged that not every man can enjoy this flexibility, as society is still very 'woman biased' and men are still deemed the 'breadwinner' and 'the little woman' only has the skills to look after children... as dictated by adherents to the Bowlby theory of parental attachment. This attachment theory was used a lot to encourage women to stay at home after the second world war to allow jobs to be taken up by men returning from forces service.

 

But what a very arrogant and sexist viewpoint used in the modern age. Bowlby has been repeatedly dismissed by other more up to date theorists, but he is still taught and relied upon by social workers.

 

Again, I repeat, I am not anti-woman, only anti-injustice, and I do care about ALL people in society.


I also know that not all men are perfect, but we should all continue to strive to be fair and equal in our dealings and relationships with others for the sake of children and society into the future.

 

The Facebook 'Suffragents' cause is to raise awareness that men are constantly treated as second class citizens, despite all the Conventions on Human Rights, in relationships and fatherhood.

 

Where are the Refuge Centres for men and children, and how many places are there compared for women?

 

Why can a man not take himself to a Centre with his children when they are subjected to abuse?

 

Is it because there is a lack of public support, knowledge or apathy for the well being of fathers and their relationship with their children?

 

Examples of Letters Posted on my

Facebook Campaign

07 Jul 2015

Abdul R D

"This is very sad. Men are regularly abused, intimidated, threatened and made to feel unsafe with regular insults in own homes. We never dream of reporting our partners for this why because we love and cherish them. It would be great if both partners realised the pain they cause each other and worked together by having face to face dialogue in a public place if required to practically deal with issues quickly rather than going through complicated, time and cost intensive proceedings which only have a nasty effect on health, mind and cause emotional distress for both partners and children. This only breaks down the relationship between children and parents adding to the family crisis this is clearly not in anyone's interest."

06 Jul 2015

James A B

"I did suffer mental abuse yet was treated as the abuser by my now ex-wife and her friends. I had evidence of abusive texts and emails from my ex both before and after we split and emails from her friends. I received numerous silent phone calls at all times, I noted the times and duration of the calls. The police did nothing, they weren't interested in the slightest."

06 Jul 2015

Nicholas F

"I used to have respect for the police but after being assaulted by my soon to be ex wife they were useless. After 6 months they still haven't facilitated collecting my belongings from my house after I said she slammed my head in the door in front of my children the last time I tried to collect my possessions and they even said there wasn't much they could do even though she admitted she was so angry that she lent forwards and touched me on the arm 3 times and didn't throw an iPad she placed it in my hand....... Oh yeah because when people are so angry they often result to a touch on the arm and handing an item to people.... I even tried to raise a complaint about the way it was handled and both times they didn't even return my calls... Bridgewater police should be ashamed of themselves and their complaints procedure is designed to stop you complaining."

06 Jul 2015

Darren T

"Can any help me with info, I'm not with my ex wife anymore and she's stopped me seeing my little girl a year ago.  I've sent solicitors letters and mediation letters she's ignored both.  The question I'd like to ask is am I entitled to school photos from the school. Thanks for any info."

 

06 Jul 2015

Jamie T

"I got arrested over harassment they come and took my phone, I had all the stress of waiting why I was on bail, last week the bail got cancelled so clearly I was in the right, she was harassing me, now if I want to make a complaint I have to go to Wales, but I bet they ain’t nicked her for wasting police time."

05 Jul 2015

Darren T

"So sad that this is so wide spread. Thought I was being victimised and it was personal."

 

Response from Suffragents: "Hi Darren, unfortunately you are not alone and I do not know what the problem is that you are suffering. There are some legal firms that 'specialise' in helping men to fight prejudices and bias or you could investigate McKenzie Friends if you are forced to fight alone."

05 Jul 2015

Dez R

"Try being me. I'm in court after my ex grabbed me, sank her nails into my arm, cut me and left me bleeding, but I'm the one facing assault because I put one hand in each of her shoulders and moved her 1 single foot to the left so I could remove myself from her grip."

05 Jul 2015

Ryan T

"After my split from my wife she stopped me seeing my 3 children just because she knew it would hurt me ... it has been 6 years now and it is still as painful and heartbreaking as day 1 ... she poisoned them against me and my family, illegally changed their surname just to stop them knowing that they are part of me ... I had to give up fighting through court when legal aid stopped so I didn't have a choice ... They also have 2 half sisters that they've never met n it upsets me not knowing when or if I'll see them again soon. .. I'm at a dead end and wish I could fight again. Love my children and wish I could tell them."

30 Jun 2015

Suffragents

"Why should decent fathers have to fight strangers who do not know him in court because of lies about him from a malicious spouse? The breakdown of democracy is when we justify secret courts, yet we are always being told that as people we have Human Rights? These two statements are directly opposite , Why?"

21 Jun 2015

Alex V

"The social worker (assessment officer) put in her court papers "95% of DV is caused by the male and when the female instigates it is important to understand what the male has done to provoke her". I paraphrase but do not exaggerate. I complained to Head of Service and was told that because she had quoted a study that allegedly backs this crap up it was perfectly acceptable. The same lying devious witch doubted my assumption of SSRI induced hypomania to explain my Wife's extreme personality shift. The psychologist (in one of many meetings I was excluded from) confirmed that the medication could indeed be at the root of it. I learned this after the final hearing when my FOI finally 3 months late came through with the minutes of the various meetings I had been excluded from. Yet my name was on them all with apologies from, unable to attend. I had complained to Head of Service about being excluded from meetings and was told I wasn't. Yet there is the proof. They lie and lie and lie. They insisted the police arrested me when my wife flipped out. They buried information that supported me. They are evil agenda driven liars."

20 Jun 2015

Richard Di

"No father is treated fairly. The System is biased all the way. It is all about what is best for the mother not what is best for the child."

13 May 2015

Richard W

"I have one of my four children living with me my ex said she didn’t want him and has gone on to have another  children. Social Services are involved because her partner assaulted one of my kids who still lives with her. So says my son who lives with me who has suffered emotional abuse from being abandoned by his mother. My ex won’t let me see my other kids but Social Services make me let her see the one who lives with me. It’s been over 2 years since I saw them and I can’t work now because of my parenting duties and can’t get legal aid. Am I wrong in thinking this is seriously screwed up!"

09 Apr 2015

Richie B

"Is your son’s ex related to mine is she??? The disguised FB name is because I get stalked amongst other things. I haven't seen my 3 children ages 4-10 now for 15 months. Down to poisonous lies in court. Down to finances I had to represent myself and I never had a chance because the appearance of a loving father over the course of 10 months in court doesn't supersede the one sided law in a woman's favour."

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Woman Physically Abusing Man in Public

 

Here's an interesting video showing reactions to abuse in public.

 

Another dreadful example, by a subscriber to Facebook ‘Suffragents’, of the imbalance in how men are perceived and abused both by the wife and the authorities. That should be deemed an offence by the authorities against the Equalities Act 2010.

 

Woman punching man

Anonymous: "I was in a physically and mentally abusive marriage. My ex wife slept with at least 6 members of my battalion that I know of, 'our' child turned out not to be mine. I was kicked, punched, burnt with cigarettes, made to feel f***ing worthless. I am ashamed to say I retaliated once, when she had me backed into a corner and was trying to hack me with a meat cleaver. I was the one arrested, it was ME who was locked in a custody suite and interviewed like a criminal. Their attitude changed instantly when I showed them the bruises both fresh and old on my body where she'd kicked me with steel toe capped boots. And yet there are some who think violence by women on men is because the man is soft ... F***ing b*llocks. I was brought up to respect women and never to lift a finger to them."